Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Writing your own vows sounds so romantic, but then when you actually get down to it... it can be REALLY hard. How do you put all those emotions you feel for someone down into words? Words that you'll be reading in front of a lot of other people? It's your wedding day, one of the most important days of your love story, so you want your partner to know how amazing you feel about them and that can be a lot of pressure. But the good news is, it doesn't have to be! Using some of these tips, writing your own vows can be a little easier and a lot more genuine. At the end of the day, vows are a wonderful way to remind all of your wedding guests what exactly they're celebrating... the unique love that you and your partner have. And after all of your guests have cried a little, (maybe it's just me but isn't that the main goal? to make everyone cry?) they'll spend the rest of the evening dancing and toasting the night away in honor of the special love that you've been so lucky to find and the beautiful partnership that you have formed. Cause that's what it's all about right? Loving each other, having fun with each other, but also being teammates in this crazy game called life...Someone to have your back through thick and thin. To me atleast, there's nothing more romantic than that.

Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

1. Talk to Your Officiant: Sometimes religious ceremonies have certain vows you must say or include in your own. Your officiant will be able to tell you if you have any rules about your vows. Your officiant can also help you come up with a good length based on the rest of your ceremony. 
2. Talk to Your Partner: It may be a good idea to get on the same page as your partner about the approximate length and style of vows you are each writing. We've all been to a wedding where the bride had pages and the groom had a few sentences. While the length of your vows does not correspond to the depth of your love, drastically different vows can be a bit awkward. Many partners choose to keep their vows secret until the ceremony but others share their vows with each other beforehand. Do whatever floats your boat, just make sure that each of your boats is, in fact, floating... 
3. Take Notes: I have a friend who knocked the socks off her vows. Seriously, the best I've ever heard (see below). They were personal and heartfelt but light and funny. People were laughing and crying. It was perfect. So later, I was asking her how she pulled it off and she said that throughout the year she jotted down in her phone random ideas and then when it came time to write her vows she looked back at all of them. GENIUS! Let's be honest, sometimes we're so in love with our partners that the hearts are practically shooting out of our eyes, but sometimes he didn't hang up his wet towel AGAIN and in fact he put it in the cubby that your clean DRY t-shirts are folded in... and you want to slowly suffocate him with his own damp slightly musty smelling towel. (just me? really?) In those moments, it's hard to write a sonnet about your love. Even though you always love them so much, sometimes you also want to kill them. So take advantage of the heart-eye moments and write them down so you can remember them when it comes time to pour your heart out to your honey. 
4. Edit: Read through your vows and check for spelling and grammatical errors. Are parts of your vows confusing or too wordy? Don't be afraid to rework some of your sentences to be concise. Editing your own writing is hard especially when there's so much emotion involved so you may want to ask a trusted friend to read over your vows. However, take their suggestions with a grain of salt. It's your wedding and your vows, so don't toss out any part that means a lot to you. 
5. Practice: Practice reading your vows OUT LOUD in the mirror at least once. This will help you with pacing. Figure out where you can take breaths to emphasize a point or let a joke hit home. 
6. Relax: Your partner doesn't care if your vows win the next Pulitzer. They are already so in love with you that they're MARRYING you. Do the best you can and at the end of the day just enjoy this really special moment you get to share with them. (and MAKE. EVERYONE. CRY... just kidding... kind of)

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Vow Examples 

Andrew's Vows (He was the handyman for Lauren's apartment where she lived with her pup Nelly) 

Lauren's Vows (Andrew is an avid outdoorsman, road tripper and rock climber)

It's crazy how one random experience has impacted every facet of my life.
Meeting you was the start of my greatest adventure and it still feels surreal that it is
only just the beginning.
Someone once said it's good to be loved, but it is profound to be understood. You
have pushed me to be the vision of myself that I have always sought to be. You have
grounded me, while also setting me free. Your unwavering confidence in us, and in
our love has shown me that there is no greener grass, mostly because you’re a little
obsessed with the lawn. And while there are sure to be rough seas at times, I know
that we will always have our safe harbor in each other. But, above all this, is the most
amazing way you love me and the way I always know you’ll be there. And from this
day forward, it's cemented. No matter where the road takes us, and I’m sure there will be no shortage of road, I vow to always be your sous chef, your camping partner,
your hand with a wrench or piece of wood. I vow to be your anchor (as long as I’m
attached to an additional anchor) *rock climbing joke*, to wake you up every morning bright eyed and bushy tailed, to soothe you after long and stressful days with my bad jokes and the latest Netflix Documentary, to continue to push you higher, as you have pushed me higher, and to never cease falling more in love with you every single day.